Friday, January 29, 2010

In Which I Tell You That You and Your Husband Don't Need "Date Nights"


Wish I had written this. The Man of the House and I have had maybe a dozen traditional dates since we got married in 1987, and our marriage is none the worse for it. In fact, it may be better because we have learned to live happily together in the everyday, to savor the ordinary moments together (which are usually pretty extraordinary if we think about it), and to build a very satisfying life together without the external bells and whistles of nights on the town, etc. We enjoy each other’s company and snatch time together whenever we can. Our favorite is our near daily walk, but there are other times: talking in bed in the hushed silence of the late-night house, early breakfasts together before anyone else is up, even conversations over IM when we need a little privacy but the house is full. I don’t think our ancestors planned regular dates, and we don’t need to either. If you can do it and want to, do, but don’t think your marriage is doomed because you can’t or you find that you don’t really enjoy it. Give yourself the freedom to spend time together as it fits you and don’t be bound by others’ expectations.

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